


Daddy Ryan

by patdbrendonn



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Kid - Freeform, father - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 15:05:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15145760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patdbrendonn/pseuds/patdbrendonn





	Daddy Ryan

June 22, 2015

The day I found out about you. I was in shock, to be honest, not knowing if I was ready. The exact moment the words  _I'm pregnant_ left your mother's mouth, I immediately started to cry. I was happy, angry, sad, scared, you name it, I was it. The reason I was angry was that I was angry at myself. At the time, I could barely take care of my dog, let alone a small child. But I knew I couldn't abandon you. That wouldn't be fair. You're a Ross, for fuck sakes. I can't abandon another Ross.

That night, I called Spencer for the first time in a year. I cried the whole time we talked, saying that these were some of my dreams finally coming true. Spencer said how happy he was for me, and how he never stopped thinking about me and the good old time, which made me cry harder. God, he's a saint. 

July 13, 2015

The first time I saw you on the ultrasound screen. You were a little bean, but to me, that little bean was the start of an incredible journey. I remember my palms starting to sweat when your image came onto the screen, knowing that this is for real. It was at that moment when knew that I was going to be a dad. Not that I didn't know that before, but it made it feel more real, you know? I had this feeling of loving something more than I have ever loved anyone before, and I knew, that that feeling would continue to grow.

September 29, 2015

The day I announced on Instagram that I was going to be a dad. Considering I'm never on social media, this made everyone go apeshit crazy. #Ryrobaby was trending worldwide on Twitter, gaining some tweets from old friends. AKA, Brendon. His tweet basically said  _omg, please tell me this isn't a joke I'm crying so hard rn #ryrobaby._ I smiled since I haven't talked to him in over three years at that point. I replied  _lol yes, I get to be a daddy!!_ Just that tweet alone sent everyone spiralling down a hole. More of the Ryden shippers loved it, but to be honest, I was so happy that people even still cared about my life.

October 31, 2015

Holloween. Everyone knows that's my favourite day of the year. I get to be someone I'm not for a day, so, I love it. This year, in particular, I dressed up as a woman. It was funny, your mom loved it. We were lesbians for the night and it was even funnier because your mom was pregnant, and showing. But you were incorporated into her costume. She walked around with a pumpkin on her stomach. A fucking pumpkin. Some people thought it was stupid, but on the other hand, I thought it was funny.

December 22, 2015

The day we found out about your gender. I was so fucking nervous for this appointment, I didn't really know what I wanted you to be. In some ways, I wanted a son so I could be like the dad I always wanted. Or, in some ways, I wanted a daughter. I knew if I ever had one, I'd be so overprotective, taking care of my little princess.

 _It's going to be a girl._ Those words rang in my head for some time. And if you're wondering, yes, I did cry. A lot. I didn't care what gender you did come out as I just was so relieved to know your gender.

That night we decided on your name. Adrienne. Adrienne Mackenzie. You're actually named after Billie Joe Armstrong's wife. It's a cute name, what can I say?

February 1, 2016

Any day now. We waited and waited for you to be born. It was the longest wait I've ever had to go through. You were literally right there, I just wish I could have held you then. It was almost tiring, just patiently (not)  waiting for your mother to go into labour. I hated that goddamn wait. That's why I proposed to your mom that night. I told her that I loved her, that I love you, and that she was my everything. The ring was beautiful. I'll try to draw it, but I'm sure I won't do it justice.

It was a beautiful ring. I just spent a lot of money on it.

February 12, 2016

The day you were born. The happiest day of my life, by far. Your mom was in intense pain, almost to the point of passing out. The labour itself lasted twelve hours. And when the actual delivery started, that lasted another hour. Then, all of the sudden, it was like someone entered the room without the door opening. You were finally here.

When I got to hold you for the first time, I felt pride. You were and our my flesh and blood. You are me, but so much more. My whole life leads to that very moment. The happiest I ever been, engaged and now a father. 

February 14, 2016

The day that you were shown to the world. Just a simple picture of you with the caption  _Adrienne._ Love-filled comments flew in, making me weep. I loved it. All of it. 

August 10, 2016

The day your mother and I married. To be honest, I don't really think I was that ready for marriage. I guess that would come and bite me in the ass, wouldn't it? You got to wear a little dress, it was adorable. I loved that dress you wore. It was this reddish colour and it had a bow on the side. You pulled on it the whole time, making me re-tie it almost every ten minutes.

January 11, 2018

The day your mom and I officially divorced. She came out as a lesbian, and I let her go. I just knew she wasn't happy with me. But, for some fucking reason, I got full custody of you. I loved you so much and I needed to step up now.

February 12, 2021

Your fifth birthday. You jump around the backyard, twirling every now and again. Your hair curled perfectly, almost like mine. You just have a lot of my features. You look at me, running up and kissing my cheek. God, I never wanted you to grow up.

Five was a big milestone for you. You already started school, but soon you'd be hit with something I never imagined.

April 25, 2021

I held your hand as I took you for a haircut. You'd been begging for something short, like mine. You smiled brightly as your hair fell to the floor.  _I love it!_ Rang in my ears. Not in a bad way, you just repeated it so much. You loved your hair, almost to the point of wanting me to cut my hair. My hair was fairly long at the time, but I said no. 

May 16, 2027

The day you became a woman. You think that day was hard for you? Imagine being a single dad with a daughter who started her period and not knowing what the fuck to do! I had to go out and buy you pads. That was fucking hard. I didn't know what type to buy, how many, I knew dick all. Luckily, there was a nice lady at the cash who helped me.

When I got home, you cried into my chest, saying how you didn't want to do this. How you didn't want to go through puberty, anything. I felt bad, very bad. I just wanted you to be happy, and sure enough, you weren't.

August 23, 2028

The day you came out as Trans. Of course, I immediately accepted you. Your name went from Adrienne to Adrian. You thanked me over and over for giving you a name that could be masculine. To be honest, your name was your mother's idea. That day I brought you to an actual barber and got your haircut, again. Only this time it was so short I almost didn't recognize you after. 

The best feeling ever was seeing you happy that day. How you thanked me for almost immediately calling you he and him, how you changed from my daughter to my son. 

June 28, 2031

The day you graduated from high school. My smart little boy. You graduated a year before your actual class because you had all your credits, which I am still very proud of you for. You were so happy, seeing your name on a diploma. Even all your friends came to watch you graduate. 

After the ceremony, we started to drive back up to Vegas. You love Vegas so much, so I decided ti would be a good idea if we went up for a few days.

July 15, 2031

The day your mom passed. That was probably the hardest thing I had to tell you, that your mom was gone. You didn't cry at first, but, then the tears came. You cried into my lap as I stroked your hair, telling you that I knew how you felt. I mean, you never had the best relationship with your mom, and I never had the best either with my dad, so I knew how you felt. 

I drove you to the funeral, but I didn't want to go in. How weird would that have been, her ex-husband just showing up for her funeral? But I stayed in that parking lot the whole time. When you came back out you just sat in the passenger seat without saying a word. We drove back home and you bolted off to your room. You needed alone time, so I was happy to let you have your alone time.

September 4, 2032

The day you started college. I was so nervous for you. You were finally leaving my nest, I couldn't believe it. I helped you set up your dorm, and man you had a lot of band posters. You loved it, on the other hand, I just wanted you home, with me. 

December 23, 2032

The day you came home for Christmas. But, you didn't come alone. You brought your new girlfriend, Charlie. She was very nice, very warming. I asked her why she wasn't with her parents but she explained that she is from France. I couldn't believe it, you were dating a french girl. Even I couldn't pull that off.

You and Charlie cuddled the whole night near the fireplace. It was cute, adorable, rather. I saw how you treated her with kindness and affection, that's really when I realized that I raised you well.

June 15, 2036

The day you graduated from College. I cried the whole ceremony, seriously. When they called your name, I cried harder when I realized that more people screamed when you walked onstage than anyone else. You were so handsome, in your black cap and gown. 

When you met me in the parking lot, your smile was brighter than ever before. 

April 27, 2039

The day you called me crying. Just by the first few sobs I heard, I knew they were not sad cries. They were happy. When I asked you what happened, you sighed again.  _Charlie and I are engaged!_ I felt a smile reach from one ear to another. To be honest, I knew this was coming. You two had been in a serious relationship for seven years, I just knew. 

I invited you both to my house for a small little family dinner. When you guys showed up, I immediately asked to see her ring. Once she showed it to me, I gasped. It was huge. From what I remember, you said you saved up for that ring for over six years. That's commitment.

January 22, 2040

The day you got married. That's also the first time I met Charlie's parents. It was awesome, and you were amazing. When everyone stood up to watch Charlie walk down the aisle, I almost screamed. She was stunning. You were stunning, you both made an amazing couple.

At the reception, I got really drunk. That's probably not the best thing a dad can do, but I did it. 

April 03, 2040

The day you showed up at my doorstep at around noon. You walked in and sat on my couch with a huge sigh. I asked you what was wrong at least three times before you answered.  _Charlie and I want kids, but she can't have any..._ You looked into my eyes.  _But I can!_ I didn't really ever think of that, in my eyes you are my son, and to be blunt, I sometimes forget you were ever my daughter. 

I told you that whatever you guys decide on doing, I will be 100% on board. I knew that you would be an amazing parent. 

May 30, 2041

The day you told me you were pregnant. I could tell that you were nervous, seeing how you played with your thumbs the whole time, like if I were to be mad at you. But I knew that this was a mutual decision between you two, so how could I? I was so happy, I was going to be a grandpa!

Once you warmed up knowing that I was completely okay with you going to have a baby, you smiled as Charlie started to talk about how you guys bought a house closer to mine, stating that there needs to be room for the new one. You also told me your due date, which is February 7.

February 13, 2042

The day you had a baby. I sat in that damn waiting room the whole time freaking the fuck out. I just wanted to know if you were okay, but nobody told me. It was only when I saw Charlie walk out of your room with a huge smile on her face.  _It's a girl!_ I stood up and jumped up and down, feeling so relieved that you, and my new granddaughter, were okay. 

I was invited into the room, seeing you holding a baby swaddled up. You smiled at me, looking back down at the newborn.  _Her name is Sophia... Sophia Ryann._ I looked back at Charlie to see if you were joking. I still feel incredibly honored that you felt like your daughter should be named after me.

June 12, 2045

The day I had a heart attack. It was scary, I thought I was dying. I thought I was going to lose everything, you, Charlie, Sophie, and even myself. 

You stayed at the hospital night and day until I got out of that horrid place. God, I love you.

August 18, 2046

The day I had my second heart attack. This time, I knew. I knew that this is it. Everything ran in slow-motion until suddenly I could not see, only hear. I heard you. I heard everything you said. From  _You're okay_ to  _You are going to pull through._ I wanted to tell you that I was done the fighting, but you wanted me to come back. M'love, I was already gone. There was no saving me, and if I were to have been saved, I probably wouldn't have lasted any longer anyway.

August 20, 2046

The day you said yes for the doctors to pull the plug. I was proud of you, baby boy. I know that would have been super hard on you, but, you did it. You held my hand until my very last breath. And that last was the best breath I have ever taken. It felt good, almost releasing. 

Adrian, I love you. I love you so  _so_ much. Remember all the good times, okay? Never think of the bad. Until we meet again.

-Dad

 


End file.
